Step 4
“Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”
“We took stock honestly. First, we searched out the flaws in our make-up which caused our failure. Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways, was what had defeated us, we considered its common manifestations.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 64
Step 4 is the housecleaning. It’s where the work gets concrete — writing down what’s actually been driving the behavior.
What it means
“Searching” — thorough, not superficial. This isn’t a quick list of regrets. It’s an honest look at resentments, fears, and patterns of behavior.
“In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper. We listed people, institutions or principles with whom we were angry. We asked ourselves why we were angry.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 64
“Fearless” — the fear is real, but you do it anyway. Most people find it less frightening than they expected once they start.
“If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 66
“Moral inventory” — not a guilt exercise. An inventory is neutral, like a stockroom count. You’re identifying what’s there — assets and liabilities — not condemning yourself.
“A business which takes no regular inventory usually goes broke. Taking a commercial inventory is a fact-finding and a fact-facing process. It is an effort to discover the truth about the stock-in-trade.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 64
What to include
Most Step 4 formats cover three areas:
1. Resentments
“Resentment is the ‘number one’ offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 64
2. Fears
“We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them. We asked ourselves why we had them.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 68
“We found that fear somehow touched about every aspect of our lives. It was an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 67
3. Sexual and relationship conduct
“We reviewed our own conduct over the years past. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Whom had we hurt? Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness?” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 69
Common struggles
“I don’t know where to start.” Start with resentments. Make a list of everyone and everything you’re angry at. That’s the first column. The rest follows.
“On our grudge list we set opposite each name our injuries. Was it our self-esteem, our security, our ambitions, our personal, or sex relations, which had been interfered with?” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 65
“I’m afraid of what I’ll find.” Most people find relief, not horror. The things you’ve been avoiding lose power when written down.
“Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 67
“I keep editing myself.” Write it all. You can decide later what to share. The inventory is for you first.
“We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 73
Practical suggestions
- Set a deadline with your sponsor — open-ended Step 4s often stall
- Write by hand if possible; it slows you down and makes it more honest
- Don’t wait until you feel ready; start and the willingness follows
“Referring to our list again. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened?” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 67
Speaker talks on Step 4
- Self Love Through Steps 4 & 5 — Isabell J, Eric N
- Drawing Out Your 4th Step Inventory With Your Other Hand — Diana B
- Sponsorship & Surrender — Dan N
Related tags
resentment · fear · character-defects · step-3 · step-5
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