Step 5
“Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”
“Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 75
Step 5 is where the inventory becomes real. Reading it aloud to another person — a sponsor, priest, or trusted guide — breaks the isolation that kept the secrets alive.
What it means
“Admitted to God” — honesty with your Higher Power, whatever that means to you.
“To ourselves” — you can’t truly see your patterns until you say them out loud. Writing them was one thing; speaking them is another.
“More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn’t deserve it.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 73
“To another human being” — this is the part people fear most and find most freeing. Shame lives in secrecy. Sharing it with someone who doesn’t flinch dissolves it.
“Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. This is perhaps difficult — especially discussing our defects with another person. We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves. There is doubt about that. In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 72
“The exact nature of our wrongs” — not just the events, but the underlying patterns. Selfishness, dishonesty, fear, pride. The why behind the behavior.
“We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world. Rightly and naturally, we think well before we choose the person or persons with whom to take this intimate and confidential step.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 73
Common struggles
“I’m too ashamed to tell anyone.” That shame is exactly why this step exists. A good sponsor has heard it all. Nothing you’ve done will shock them.
“If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 72–73
“What if they judge me?” Choose your Step 5 person carefully — someone with experience in the program, not just a friend.
“We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 75
“Can I just tell God and skip the human part?” The step specifically includes another person. The experience of being heard and accepted by another human being is part of what heals.
“Returning home we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour, carefully reviewing what we have done. We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better. Taking this book down from our shelf we turn to the page which contains the twelve steps. Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 75
Practical suggestions
- Do Step 5 soon after completing Step 4 — don’t let the inventory sit for months
- Choose someone who has worked the steps themselves
- Allow enough uninterrupted time — don’t rush it
- Expect to feel lighter afterward; most people do
“We have admitted certain defects; we have ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is; we have put our finger on the weak items in our personal inventory. Now these are about to be cast out. This requires action on our part.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 76
Speaker talks on Step 5
- Self Love Through Steps 4 & 5 — Isabell J, Eric N
- 12 Steps to a Spiritual Awakening (Part 2) — Sandy B
- AA Back to Basics (Part 3) — Wally P & Brenda C
Related tags
resentment · fear · sponsorship · step-4 · step-6
All Steps
Step 1 · Step 2 · Step 3 · Step 4 · Step 5 · Step 6 · Step 7 · Step 8 · Step 9 · Step 10 · Step 11 · Step 12